Saturday, April 14, 2012

4th Quarter Moon

Today the moon entered her fourth quarter. I am glad. It has been a busy cycle, and I'm ready for rest and restoration (read more about how I follow the moon and her cycle here.) I associate the moon's fourth quarter with the North, with inner reflection, with exquisite self care [a term I learned from a very lovely woman], with preparation to start a new cycle, refreshed and energized.

I don't feel particularly energized right now.

It has been a busy week, and I have been a little bit on edge.

It started on Monday when Jai came home from school with an ear infection [cured with a little garlic oil]. He took a long nap, so that night he stayed up later and I went to bed with him [which means no evening mama time. Evening is my sacred time to do whatever I want, and I cherish it]. But it was all good, my baby was sick and I wanted to take care of him.

The next day the kids and I all woke up with colds. Didn't we just get over the last one??? I must say, having a child in school has really thrown me for a loop. I never used to get sick. Ever. And since Jai started school in the fall, I have been sick more times than I can even remember. My oh my.

So anyway, we have colds. Ick. And that night, after I spend 45 minutes getting Yasmina to fall asleep, she wakes up ten minutes later. Like AWAKE. I spend an hour trying to get her back to sleep. So that night, no sacred mama time.

The next night, I put Yasmina to bed. She wakes up ten minutes later, AWAKE. I want to pull my hair out, but thankfully Anthony was home to keep me sane. And even though I was feeling grumpy and frustrated, it's really impossible to stay upset at Mina. She's so dang cute. Especially when it's late and she should be sleeping, she really puts on a show.

So maybe it was because I went three nights in a row with no sacred mama time, or maybe the planets were not aligned in my favor, or maybe I just have some crazy energy seeking release, but the next day was a rough one for me. I was irritable and had all this pent up frustration inside. I ate cheap Easter chocolate when i really didn't want to. I got upset at Anthony because he's not building our greenhouse "fast enough" [he's been working his butt off]. It was cold and rainy. I felt crappy.

[Then I pushed through the crappiness and wrestled with the kids on the bed. I drank some tea. And then I felt much better.]

I think part of my problem is the springtime energy coursing through my veins. The warmer temperatures, the sunshine, the growing expanding golden green energy makes me want to work in the garden all day, every day. I want to dig and plant and plant some more. However, I have two small children. They are amazing gardeners already, but they can only focus for so long. [And especially for Mina, that's not very long]. So there's all this gardening I'm aching to do, but I just can't. And I'm trying really really hard to feel joy and satisfaction at what we do get done [which is impressive, all things considered], but sometimes it is a struggle.

So this week with my fourth quarter moon, I am focusing on slowing down. On enjoying the process. On releasing excess [negative, frustrated, crappy] energy. On letting go of expectations. As Anthony reminded me the other morning, it's not about what happens to you, it's about how you deal with it. I choose to deal with it [children, garden, husband] with humor, flexibility, and love. [And yes, I'm going to write that on my hand so I don't forget....humor flexibility and love. humor flexibility and love.]

As long as Mina stays asleep...


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